ELEPHANT FOR HIRE

Missy

Elephant for Hire

We first met Missy, the elephant, when she came to the Orpheum with the great magician, Harry Blackstone, Jr.. Such a gentle, easy to like animal. And it was apparent she felt the same way toward us. Her handler, Rusty, explained since she had little contact with other elephants, she showed her affection toward human beings.

Rusty had come through once before as the handler of a tiger used in David Copperfield’s magic act. Rusty gained no friends among us because of his attitude; but then again, any one around Copperfield and friends gains an attitude. Just the opposite with Blackstone. He was one of the nicest person in the business and those working with him immolated Blackstone’s attitude. Rusty became a very well liked roadie to us after the Backstone week.

Missy, and Rusty, came out of a animal rental ranch in California. She was often rented to go on tours like Blackstone’s because an act certainly couldn’t afford to buy an elephant for the tour. Blackstone turned Missy into a beautiful woman in the same vein as Copperfield had turned the beautiful woman into a tiger’

Missy was also a favorite rental for TV and movies, because of her attitude. If she was just used as ‘wallpaper’ in a scene, she always behaved as ‘wallpaper’. If she actually had something to do, she was a quick learner and never acted up if there was take after take.

When it was learned there was to be an elephant on stage, a city inspector had to approve the stage was capable. Dave M, house carpenter, said there was many times over the years elephants was on the stage. The engineer pointed out that the stage was a lot older and brittle than years ago. The outcome of was the okay, the stage was fit to hold Missy. Actually, he pointed out. A small woman wearing stiletto heels was a greater risk to the stage than an elephant with it’s broad feet.

All the hands took to Missy but we learned to avoid stand directly in front or behind her. A belch or a fart from her directly could really curl one’s hair.

When Dave M asked Rusty if his son and daughter could come and pet Missy, Rusty said sure and he’d even give them a ride on her. Over the course of the week, the kids got quite a few rides on Missy. Several years later when we learned Missy had killed a man, Dave M lost it, screaming how could Rusty allow kids to ride on a murderous beast. Then he lost it again by declaring that he knew Missy could never kill anybody. And he really lost it when he was told they had to execute Missy for killing the guy.

We found all this out when we were working Janice Jackson at the hockey arena. Rusty came as the handler to the black panther in her act. Naturally, first chance we had to talk to him,we asked about Missy. That’s when he told us she killed a man and had to be executed.

What??? Come on, not Missy!!!

The nightmare started when one of the two brothers that owned the hiring-ranch married the secretary and they went on a three month safari in Africa. Chuck, the brother who stayed home, hired Karl, who had been lion tamer in several circuses, to help out on the ranch. A couple times he found out that Karl had abused one of the animals. Chuck said one more strike and Karl was through. Karl was through alright. Chuck found him dead, his chest caved in and evidence that Missy had been severely abused. She was leg-cuffed with a long chain and a bullhook, an item forbidden on the ranch, was next to his body. The sheriff didn’t give a damn if the animal was just retaliating from the abuse. He gave Chuck three days to execute Missy.

Chuck laid in bed that night, staring at the ceiling. And then, a plan came to him and he spent the rest of the night figuring how to work things out.

It centered around an animal protection documentary about ivory poachers. Sadly, there was no problem finding killing grounds filled with the remains of slaughtered elephants, robbed of their tusks and the carcasses left to rot in the bush. But what they wanted was to show the ruthless of the poachers by having an animal shot for very small tusks. Not really shot, just acting like it was shot. Chuck told them he had just the elephant for the job and told them to give him ten days and then they could fly both him and Missy to an African killing field.

It turned out, Missy didn’t need ten days. He trained her to walk along and falter at the first gun shot. Keep walking, but falter again at the second and fall dead at the third. Perfect! This learning was all done on at the ranch. Just like the spot where Chuck could say he shot and killed Missy. And he had a copy of the film he made for the producer’s okay. To add spice he had his friend, Fetterman bring over his carcass truck. It was a huge flatbed with a powerful wench and used to transport large animals like steer or a horse or even a buffalo to Fetterman’s Fox Farm. Food for the foxes.

Chuck’s wife filmed the last shot. The truck, Fetterman’s Fox Farm boldly painted on the side of the hood and running along the cab, drives slowly by. There is the huge orange tarp strapped to it, covering a huge bulk, big enough to be an elephant. As it passes Chuck, looks down and kicks the dirt. And this film was Chuck’s proof to the authorities that Missy was executed for her crime. They were satisfied that Missy got what they said she deserved.

And what about Missy. They certainly can’t keep her hidden?

Well, Rusty looked around as if to check that nobody else is listening, if you ever see an episode of that Tarzan show that is filmed in Mexico, you might see a familiar figure. This elephant is in almost every one. Sometimes she’s just wallpaper to fill out the jungle background. Sometimes she has an action bit. Sometimes both.

Her name is Senorita and she docile and quick to learn, and the most popular for-hire elephant on that for-hire ranch serving Mexican TV and movies. Rumor has it, Mexico’s great comic actor, Cantinflas, is suggesting Senorita be taught El Toro charges and instead of doing his famous bull fighting comedy routine with a bull, he’ll do it with an elephant. It never came to fruition but Senorita had her moves down pat.

And thus wraps

the tale of

Missy/Senorita

A favorite elephant

for hire

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