ELEPHANT IN VAUDVILLE (II)

Elephant in Vaudeville II

As told by Old George,

The agony in that roar! I’ll never forget it; and all the lights dimmed, adding to the panic. The main curtain was closed to allow the set- up behind it. There were two comics on the apron doing a stolen act about baseball. They both dove in the pit. The skinny one landed in the string section. The chubby one in the percussion. Some of the audience hit the panic bars to the nearest exits and ran out of the building. When the cop on the beat asked what in the name of Blarney caused that roar, all he got was a lot of mumbo-jumbo about a mad elephant; and he said he was going to jail the one responsible for pissing off the poor beast.

I was in the wing directly across from the elephant and while I couldn’t see what led up to the roar, I did hear the gush of the animal’s water. Thinking she was going to run directly across stage, I headed up stage toward the loading dock.

The poor critter had the same idea and cut cross on the diagonal. She busted through the two backdrops that were in, the one for her act and the one behind that for the act following.

There were sets and props in her way and she turned them into toothpicks. I skidded to a stop just in time to miss any debris from the the door to the loading ramp flying in pieces, followed by the loading dock door to the outside explode. I ran up the ramp and out of the building in time to see Tantar run across Hennepen Avenue, causing a driver to hit the brakes, twist the wheel, and jump his car on the curb, lest he be broadsided by an elephant. I kept running to follow her.

And as I was running, I asked myself why. I couldn’t say nice elephant and bring her to a halt or warn anyone in her path to get out of her way. I guess the answer was because I could. I wasn’t a stagehand, or I would have to be helping Big Irv and his crew cleaning up the destruction. I was still just a kid gofer following a rampaging behemoth, not your every day experience. I soon realized where she was headed. The big pond in Loring Park. I was the one who brought her here the second day she was in town.

Will had asked me if there was a lake or river nearby that Tantar could bathe in. There was, but the pond in Loring Park was closer. Early the next morning we went there, and almost every morning since, Will and Tantar went there. Sure enough, she was standing in the pond with only the upper parts of her body showing. Will had parked the truck and trailer on the street and was walking down to the pond.

‘We’ll leave her until she decides to come out, George. The water is calming her down. I sure don’t want her to do the performances left today. Tomorrow she’ll be ready.’

She was ready… but not willing. Each time he got her close to the loading dock entrance, she balked and roared and backed up. Day after day was the same. Tantar would not enter the theater. She was okay performing on the street and okay giving rides to the children. And when Trader Jack&Company went to the next gig and the next gig, she did everything but enter the theater.

‘Looks like your stuck with an elephant who hates vaudeville, Will, and I’m stuck with another dog and pony show,’ &Company said after a good month of catering to this elephant. ‘Time to call it a wrap to Trader Jack&Company.

‘I made a deal’ she continued, ‘and bought a Great Dane bigger than the pony. He’ll do what the pony does and evidently do more tricks than just let the dogs jump on his back. I’m having new costumes made with a lot more skimp than my usual. Make up for the loss of the elephant with more sex in the act.

‘And I am sick of being called &Company!’ she said, raising her voice.’ ‘ I have a name, Will, in case you or anybody else cares. My name is Cecelia, Will. CeCe for short. The name of my new act will be CeCe&Company, dog and pony show extraordinaire. Hell, I might even pick up lose change by buying a saddle and giving kids rides on the Great Dane.’

‘Sounds like a good plan, &Co… CeCe.’ He reached out and touched her hand. ‘ I better get thinking on my next move.’

‘Did you think I’d leave you without a plan, Will? No. Now Trader Jack and Sheba, ( that name, Tantar will bring back too many bad memories), will work the petting zoos across country in time so you get to San Diego before autumn ends. Work the petting zoos around San Diego and La Jolla. Who knows, you might even end up owning your own petting zoo. You both will like the petting zoos better than the Vaudeville stage. There’s no DC hot pockets in petting zoos.’

Over the years I got my stagehand card and worked with Big Irv and the others. Got to work CeCe&Company several times before the geek acts killed Vaudeville. Will Strothers never came back the town, but he would sent word, filling me in on the petting zoo that he and his wife and kids run, and how they got two younger elephants for giving rides and they put Sheba out to pasture. He says she likes retirement…no hot DC pockets; but she does miss giving the kids rides. and Will should know, he’s an elephant whisperer.

And thus puts a wrap

to Old Georges tale

of the

Elephant In Vaudeville

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Elephants in Show Biz