I KNOW NOTHING

-Schultz-hogans-heroes-

On Memorial day weekend I read an angry letter posted on the web. The writer, a young (?) Politically Correct activist was railing out against the fact the old TV comedy, HOGAN’S HEROES, was still being shown on cable TV. She felt it was a great disservice to all those who were POW’s of the Germans in WWII. She wanted the series to be hidden away like the old AMOS & ANDY SHOW. In a way I could see her point; but…

Two of my favorite coworkers at the Guthrie Theatre spent a large part of WWII as prisoners of war in German camps. Chuck Wallen, an American, was a stagehand and set carpenter at the Guthrie. Michael Langham, an Englishman, was the Artistic Director of the theatre. They were in different camps but they both had similar experiences during their years as prisoners.

Chuck, an Air Corps navigator, was on his first bombing run when the plane was shot down. He parachuted out, landed in a cow pasture and broke his back. A village doctor set Chuck’s back as best he could, but the setting would have left Chuck unable to ever stand straight again. A German doctor, seeing the problem, fought red tape and got Chuck to a hospital where the doctor rebroke the back and set it correctly. Chuck spent the rest of the war in a POW camp in Germany, but at least he could stand straight.

Growing up, Michael Langham’s hero was the Duke of Wellington. Because of this, Michael attended the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst where he received an officer’s commission just in time to take part in the final days of the Battle of Dunkirk, namely the retreat to the beach. When the Miracle of Dunkirk was accomplished, Michael was not one of the lucky ones that were transported back to England. He was in the group that missed the boats and were captured by the Germans and placed in a POW camp, where he spent the duration of the war that he really never got to know.

It was the camp where the Great Escape took place, although the tunnel was in a different barracks and Michael was not involved or even aware of what was going on. To kill time in the camp, Michael joined the theatrical group. Sometimes Michael acted, sometimes Michael directed. By the time the camp was liberated, Michael no longer thought of himself as the next Duke of Wellington. Instead, he pursued a career in the theatre, substituting Tyrone Guthrie for the Duke as a role model.

It was the years of HOGAN’S HEROES in prime time. The day after each new episode aired, Michael would make his way down to the shop where he and Chuck would spend about a half hour or so going over the episode, laughing and comparing characters on both sides of camp to people in their camps. Since I was working the show the nights the series aired I never got to see it until years later in reruns. Sometimes though when I was working during a day when Chuck and Michael got together, I was privileged to listen to those two reminisce. So, now when I find myself laughing at the antics of Hogan and the gang, I don’t feel any guilt. After all, two members of the Greatest Generation, who had first hand experience in POW camps laughed at the same things many years ago.

On the other hand, another favorite acquaintance, Jim Daly, who survived the Bataan Death March and the ensuing years in a POW camp in the Philippines, would not have found anything funny during his hell on earth.

  

We doing a week of VINCENT in Scottsdale, Arizona about nine months after Bob Crane, Hogan of HOGAN’S HEROES, was murdered in this posh city of many rich retirees. Mr. ‘Just Call Me Bob’ Herberger, founder of the Herberger department store chain put on a big fete for us at his house. He had enjoyed the play and especially liked the fact that it came from the Guthrie in his home state of Minnesota. I think he spent more time talking with another Minnesota native, namely me, as he did hobnobbing with Leonard Nimoy, the star of VINCENT. It was a fun time with only one slight bump in the road.

Almost all of Mr. Herberger’s invitees were, like him, enjoying their retirement in the land of the sun. There wasn’t a Ford or a Chevy mixed in with the Rolls and Caddys, and although the it was Arizona casual dress, it wasn’t the casual dress wear that came off the rack at a Herberger Department Store.

There was one group of men that seemed to hang together. They looked like they could have been extras in THE GODFATHER. Maybe one of them brought the cannoli to the party. A couple of them were more interested in talking to Leonard about Dr. (sic) Spock than about Van Gogh, something that always irritated him; but he remained a gentleman and answered their questions about Spock and STAR TREK as the old timers wanted.

Then Leonard asked them a question. ‘You know, Bob Crane and I use to be friends back in the days we were auditioning for jobs, and then when we both were in hit shows. Hadn’t seen him years though. Now,’ Leonard said in a quiet voice, ‘What’s the real skinny on Crane’s murder?’

You don’t yell fire in a theater, and you don’t ask these old men about murder. Their silence was deafening. They didn’t have to talk. They just gave Nimoy  – the look. Finally one of them spoke up in a raspy whisper. ‘Don’t ask about that guy again around here. You don’t want to know! Understand?’ Leonard nodded and the subject was dropped. He smiled at the group of men and walked over to where Mr. Herberger was talking to me.

In the words of Sergeant Schultz, ‘I know nothing.

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19 thoughts on “I KNOW NOTHING

  1. What a fantastic post! It’s a great “story” about personal favorites of mine. I loved Hogan’s Heroes as well as Star Trek on TV. I’m glad you included the Michael story; I’d hate to feel guilty about loving Hogan’s Heroes. 🙂

    • Thank you, Cindy, for your kind words. Werner Klemperer actually acted in a musical at the Guthrie, but alas it was after Michael Langham had left and Chuck Wallen had died.

    • AMEN, Truman. It was a spoof with two Jewish actors, both of whom escaped from the Nazis persecution, playing the two lead buffoons. I feel the same indignity about the way the Amos and Andy TV show was taken off the ‘market’. First TV show to have a black cast. While Andy and the Kingfish were broad brushed, Amos was indeed a role model.

    • Do you mean GP this has to be one of my favorite bloggers also?
      Can’t pick a favorite post?
      You got me curious.

      • Thanks you, Pierre, for the reblog, and I am glad I found your blog, via GP. I especially like your post giving me a the French Canadian point of view. My mother’ family, Perron, and all my maternal relatives, all with French trace their ancestry back to Quebec in the 1600’s.

      • Do you know I have a blog about genealogy… two in fact, a French one (the original) and an English one?

        Please don’t visit them because you will find how crazy I am about Nos ancêtres and Our Ancestors.

      • By the way…

        I just loved Hogan’s Heroes, and I knew about Bob Crane’s demise.

        Sordid affair…

      • Close up details about the old celebrities; my mother’s favorite subject.
        I remembered after I signed off before that you deleted the private post, I can’t imagine what I missed?

  2. I think they should consider that John Banner was a Jew who left Austria when Hitler took it over.
    He would have more perspective on it.
    So they should also ask Werner Klemperer who played Klink. He also fled Nazi rule.
    If they could see a purpose in the humor, others should reconsider.

  3. Great backstage story, sir. I won’t touch on the sensitivities of these activists. Hell, I want to see the old Dick Tracy cartoons with Mr. Moto. ☺ But I loved Stalag 13. Yes, there was nothing funny nor glamorous about being a POW but still, it was meant as entertainment.

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